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5.18.2009

Life lessons - An Inpirational Story


Ju was physically abused as a child. She lived with a mother who was diagnosed with post depression and a father who was a wife abuser.

Her parent divorced and left six of them with her mother. She left school at 15 and went to work waiting tables to help her mother feed them all.

At 18 she met and fell in love and was married soon after. Then she found out that her husband drank too much, slept around with other women, a wife abuser and took drugs.

She was divorced at age 20 with two children. Her husband took their son away and handed him to his friend. He was sent to jail for an offence with the law.

Her husband's friend did not want to hand the boy over to her and demanded money in exchange. The child had scars on his chest due to burnt from cigarette butts. That was what he got for crying out for food.

She finally managed to get her son back. She left her children in her mother's care while she left to find a job.

At 28 she had an accident. Her dress caught fire and she suffered 2nd degree burns.

With that her self-esteem and self-confidence went down the pit. She was depressed. She attempted suicides several times and was given psychiatric treatments.

After a major surgery and lots of counseling and support from relatives and friends, she started her life all over again even with one partly deformed hand and fingers.

Her anxiety was all the time still present. It was tougher to find a job. She felt like a disabled person.

The one thing that kept her going in spite of her misfortune was her will to be able to feed herself and sent money for her children. She did not want to ask for financial support.

At 38 she was diagnosed with cancer of the cervix. That was a big blow to her. She went through another depression episode.

"Why me?" was the question she repeatedly asked. Of course when she asked that question, she got all the wrong answers. She felt more depressed. She blamed her father, her mother and everyone for what brought her sufferings. Worst, she blamed herself.

She agreed to go for the treatments, chemotherapy and cesium, because she did not want to go through the pains.

This was when she took the time to look within her. She thought that she might not live long enough so she decided to reconnect with her children. It was not easy especially with her son who had gone through his own childhood trauma.

She turned to her family for moral support and she turned to God.

Now eight years later, she is still alive. Waking up and able to breathe for another day is a gift for her.

She has two grandchildren whom she adores and that give her much joy. She takes some jobs every now and then when her health permits and rests when she needs it.

Her question has changed. She now asks what is it she could do to get more out of what is left?

Things happen and happen to us all. Life does not play favorites. Everyone has a story to tell.

It is how we handle it that matters. We do not have to wait until a major catastrophe interrupts us to think of what we should do with our lives.

It is up to us to make or break us. No one can tell our brain and mind what to do. No one can tell us what to think of and what to put inside our head.

We have the power to think what we want to think. To forget past hurts or to linger with them.

We can decide, plan and take action on what we want to have, do or be. At least when the universe intervenes, we know that we have done our best.

Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes written to help people become aware that any future growth starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com

Breaking Through Uncertainty - Welcoming Advertisty

We all question our ability at times. Uncertainty plagues us. It is even more intense if the ability we are questioning relates to something we have never tried or not succeeded at in the past.

Set backs are common, but we rarely welcome them. We are inclined to respond negatively to adversity. It may be time to revisit that reflexive response.

I had an experience recently that caused me to reconsider whether a negative response to adversity is always justified when I was confronted with a life-threatening situation.

It was mid-morning on a warm and pleasant Saturday. I was in the midst of my first skydive of the day. It was my 2,123th jump since having taken up the sport fifteen years ago.

After about one minute of freefall and 5,000 above the ground, I parted ways with my fellow jumpers to get far enough away from them to open my parachute safely. I initiated opening around 3,000 feet above the earth.

My parachute opened with some twists in the lines between the parachute and me. This is not that uncommon. What was different this time was that I was not able to clear the twists.

The twists in the lines caused my parachute to take on an asymmetrical shape. Receiving asymmetrical inputs, the canopy did what it is designed to do and initiated a turn -- that's how it's steered. The problem occurred when the turn quickly became a rapid, diving downward spiral that was spinning me a full 360 degrees about once every second. This was a problem.

I looked up to assess my canopy and saw something I don't often see - the horizon clearly visible ABOVE the trailing edge of my canopy. This meant my canopy and I were now on roughly the same horizontal plane. In that I could see the horizon behind it, I was actually above my parachute and it was leading our fast spinning parade rapidly towards mother earth.

My first need was to acknowledge that I was not going to be able to solve this problem. This is not as easy as it seems. Having successfully completed over 2,100 jumps without having to resort to my second parachute, it was hard for me to believe I had really encountered a problem I could not solve. I had a natural inclination to assume I could fix this problem as I had all those in the past.

Sound familiar? It's always easy to lapse into denial when confronted with a problem. Until we acknowledge the problem and our possible inability to solve it - or to use the methods we have used in the past - we don't have a chance of making things better.

Fortunately, the urgency of this situation caused my hard-headed nature to yield much quicker than usual. That decision probably took a second or two.

The next step, having accepted the need to follow a different course than in the past, was to determine the course. Fortunately fifteen years of training and practice before every day of jumping took hold.

I looked straight down at the two handles on either side of my chest - one to release me from my malfunctioning canopy and one for deploying my reserve parachute - and realized I needed to quickly get them in my hands. I could not help but notice when I made eye contact with them, as had been ingrained in me during my First Jump Course way back in 1988, that by now the rapid spins had turned me back to earth and there beyond my toes was once again the horizon. This was bad!

Time was of the essence at this point not only because I was now rapidly progressing toward the horse pasture below me, but also because the centrifugal force I was starting to experience would soon make it impossible to get my hands to those two handles.

With my hands now securely on the handles, I was confronted with a bothersome question, "Now, which one goes first." The wrong order could cause my reserve parachute to deploy into my spinning main parachute which would result in an incurable entanglement.

Fortunately, ingrained training once again took over and I pulled them in the right order. First the handle on the right side which released me from my spinning main parachute followed by the handle on the left side to deploy my reserve parachute.

This brought on a wonderful experience. My malfunctioning black, teal and magenta canopy was replaced with a bright, yellow never before used reserve parachute. What a lovely sight! And all this by 1,700 feet - plenty of time to spare.

Many years ago, I read a book about the challenges and responsibilities of Secret Service agents. One of the sad aspects of that profession is that agents who never have the chance to validate their years of training by responding to a threat sometimes struggle severely in retirement. They are faced with not knowing - with certainty - how they would respond when faced with the paramount challenge their career can deliver. For this reason, agents who have faced such a challenge successfully are admired within the culture of the Service.

That Saturday morning, I had the privilege of facing a similar, life-threatening and I now realize life-defining challenge. I faced what Secret Service agents call "the dragon."

For all of us the greater dragon is not the external threat, whether it be an assassin's bullet, the unforgiving and fast approaching earth or another challenge. The real dragon is the self-doubt we carry within us.

For those few splendid moments after landing safely, I was able to put my foot firmly on the neck of the dragon ... and it felt great.

Keep this in mind the next time you are confronted with adversity. On the far side of the experiences the adversity presents, there could be a valuble gift - a renewed confidence and certainty.

(c) 2004, Jim McCormick. All rights in all media reserved.

About The Author

Jim McCormick is an MBA, former corporate Chief Operating Officer, three time skydiving World Record holder and was a member of an international expedition that skydived to the North Pole. More information is available at http://www.takerisks.com/ and 970.577.8700.
Jim@TakeRisks.com

5.06.2009

In the Eyes of a Child


It was way past 10:00 pm when I came home from a grueling day of schoolwork and extracurricular activities. The wind was rustling about overhead as I paced through the door of our humble abode. I moved towards the nearest couch and plumped myself to rest. Defeat and exhaustion filled my frame as I laid back against the soft cushions. But then I remembered our Hematology project which was due the next day. Galvanized, I scrambled off my feet and immediately headed towards the personal computer situated on the other side of the room. Just then, my little brother Michael dashed out of his room and came straight at me. He was holding a pen on his right hand and a piece of paper on the other.

"Ate, can you help me with my assignment? It's about the seven wonders of the world," he blurted out while staring at the paper in his grasp.

My brother's words didn't seem to filter through my mind at first. My attention was so riveted at the computer screen that my brother had to nudge me and pull the tip of my blouse just to get my attention.

"Look, not right now! I'm very busy," I yelled while ticking on the keyboard.

"You're always busy! You're always like that!" he wailed back as he turned on his heels and stomped back to his room.

For a moment, Michael's words fiddled in my mind. I felt a twinge of guilt as his words lingered in my thoughts. But the urgency of my work seemed more important to me than my brother's. I sighed a few times and continued to polish my school work.

The next day, I went home late again. I went straight to my room and quickly changed my clothes. When I was about to turn off the lights, I heard a pounding noise on the door. I went to see who it was. It was Michael.

"I know you are busy but there's something I wanna show you," he began. "I was just wondering if my classmate was right when he said that my assignment was wrong."

Without saying a word, I snatched the paper from him and pored over his written assignment. I really didn't care what he was saying. All I wanted was to get rid of him and finally get to rest. Suddenly, my eyes widened in surprise as soon as I saw what he'd written. There, he wrote in gothic letters:

The Seven Wonders of the World

1. Love
2. Friendship
3. Peace
4. Joy
5. Wisdom
6. Fun
7. Family

I froze dead on my tracks as the words registered in my brain. I could not believe what my brother just scribbled on paper. I was completely transfixed. How could such an innocent little child fathom such things in life, I thought to myself. As I was trying hard to push back my emotions to the farthest recesses of my mind, I didn't notice that tears were already swelling up in my eyes and started flowing down my cheeks.

"Ate why are you crying? Is it really wrong?"

"No, baby brother, it's not. This is the other set of answers most people don't know," I said as I whisked the trickling droplets from my cheeks.

That day, it dawned on me that the most valuable things in life are the ones that we often overlook and take for granted. These things don't take the form of towering buildings, gigantic houses, magnificent cars, material wealth or even high-paying jobs. What my little brother showed me was a gentle reminder that the most wondrous things in the world are immaterial, priceless and can never be developed by human art, skill or effort. As Dean Wilson of London once wrote, "As with most of the important things, we often take them for granted and forget we even have them..."

Copyright(c) 2005 Rachelle Arlin Credo. All rights reserved.

Please visit http://cebu.freemethodistchurch.org/